*sigh*

Well today was a good day, yay! I gotta keep having more of those. It seems like school went by really fast, so I was home with Brookie in no time. She was actually in a good mood today! When I got home I fed her right away, and she promptly fell asleep and slept for 2 hours, which gave me time to get some things done. When she woke up, we played for a while. Then I fed her, gave her some more apples, then fed her again. She liked the apples a little better, she still makes the yucky face, but she will open her mouth for the spoon, and she does smile when I make airplane noises (not when daddy does it though he he he). Before she went to bed we gave her a bath, so now she smells o so clean! And she looked really cute today in her new pink overalls, hehehe!

Well I was just thinking how much my priorities have changed. In high school, I wanted to be a translator. In college, or the beginning of college, I wanted to work for the United Nations, become an ambassador or some other lucrative job. Now, I could care less about those things. I used to think a lucrative job makes someone important, because they can make a difference in the world through those jobs. That is still true, but now I know, even though I won't have a lucrative job, I will be making a difference. I will make a difference in a little girl's life who loves me very much, just by being there and loving her back. Being a mother is the most important job anyone could ever have, more important than any ambassador job, etc. It feels really good to know that everytime I hug my daughter, or make her laugh, or take care of her, I am making a difference in this world.

I still want a nice job, of course. But now, I want to be an advocate for breastfeeding. Someone recently called me a "breastfeeding nazi", which I found horrendously insulting, and I told her so. If she thought I was too passionate with breastfeeding, she could have found another term to relate it to than with a group of people who practiced genocide. Anways, I don't think of it like that. I never think anything bad about women who don't breastfeed. I just believe that women should at least try. If they try and can't for various reasons, then by all means, formula feed. But women should at least try. If that makes me a "breastfeeding nazi", then so be it.

I was thinking I could be a lobbyist or something for a breastfeeding group, like La Leche League, but I haven't found any information at all on what the current policy is and such and if they are even active in the political area. Oh well, I'll have to look some more.

Well, I just realized this entry is kind of all over the place, and I realize its because I am running off of no sleep. I better get to bed.

bye!

Yay for apples

Today was pretty fun, but draining. Brooke is going through the worst growth spurt yet, my body just can't keep up! She wants to eat every half hour, for hour long feedings! I ended up giving her some mashed apples, and although she did make the same yucky face, she liked it better than bananas. I might try again with the apples tomorrow.

Tomorrow I go back to school :o(. I can't wait until summer vaca, when I can stay home most of the day with Brooke! Today we also got a lot of unpacking done, but did none of the errands we had planned on doing, due to Brooke's demanding feeding schedule. She was so cute today, though! She was very talkative and rolling around everywhere!

Well, gotta get to bed. Bye!

Yucky Bananas!

Today was a good day. I got to hang out with Brooke all day, we had so much fun! We went out and bought her high chair, yay! I decided to give the bananas one more whirl, and this time I took pics. You can def tell she doesn't like them!

She looks so lost in her high chair, so small! I also think she is teething, because she has been really grumpy, she drools a lot, and she wants to gum everything! She's also having a growth spurt, and is feeding constantly. She's getting so big!

Well, gotta do some unpacking. bye!

I'm soooo sick

OMG I am sooo sick! I have mastistitis again, only this time its worse than before. I've spent all day in bed, but I still feel like crap, and it's starting to piss me off!

Thank god DH stayed home today to take care of Brooke so I could rest. He also made me my meals in bed and basically treated me like a queen. What a man!

Today we gave Brooke her first solid food! I mashed up some banana and mixed it with breastmilk and tried to give it to her. At first, she wouldn't even open her mouth, but then she tasted it and made the cutest YUCK face I've ever seen! So, she doesn't like banana maybe? Tomorrow I'm going to pick up some avocado, and if she reacts the same way, then I will give it a rest. Perhaps she is just not ready.

Time to go pass out.

bye

i can do it!

Well i was writing a paper for class but I though I would take a little break and just write a few words.  I took some pics of Brooke today in her jumparoo, which she loves. She is so cute!

Brooke was very cranky today. She's having a growth spurt, so she keeps wanting to eat, but then she just cries at the breast.  She acts like it hurts to eat or something. Maybe she's teething? I don't know, it was so weird. I finally got her to calm down by singing "the ants go marching" to her...she loves that song, and it always works to calm her down.

I'm all excited cause tomorrow is Friday and that means no class for the weekend, and I get to spend some time with Brooke! I tried to find somewhere that has mommy and me yoga today but got no luck. Hopefully I'll find one when I join LLL or the Mommy Group next thursday. I'm so nervous, what if the other mother's don't like me? Ahhhh!

Speaking of mothers, today my mom got me a card that basically encouraged me to stay in school. Everyone is right, I can do it! I AM SUPERMOM, HEAR ME ROAR!

I was supposed to get my wedding cake today, but the lady never showed up. Figures.

Well i guess that's all for today. Back to my paper.

wonderful day

Well today when I got home from class I just had an absolute ball with Brooke.  She's right in the middle of a growth spurt, so she's been cranky the past couple of days.  But she was smiling today, and I even got her to laugh by blowing raspberries on her belly! She was so cute!

Feeding her today helped me really to relax and de-stress.  Tomorrow I plan on starting her on solid foods for the first time, so I know that I have to cherish the last total bf day that we will ever have.  It makes me so sad, but so proud that she is growing up so healthy.

As I was giving her her last feeding of the night, she looked up at me right before she fell asleep and gave me the sweetest smile, complete with a milk mustache.  She just melts my heart.

Well that's all for now.

 

omg

O my God, its 1:45 am and I just finished my paper. I wouldn't even say finished it, it is horrible.  So I had to spend all night working on a horrible paper instead of playing with my daughter like I wanted to.

Sometimes I just feel like throwing in the towel.

Good thing my DH is so stubborn and won't let me quit. I hate him lol.

Off to bed, finally

grrrr

Here I am, sitting at the computer trying to do a paper that is due tomorrow. But my heart just isn't in it. Instead, I just want to pick Brooke up and go out and do something fun with her. I hate school, grrrrr!

feeling frustrated

I didn't go to class again today because of the snow.  Honestly, I'm feeling very frustrated with school right now.  I hate leaving Brooke to go to class, it brakes my heart every time I say goodbye.  And even when I am home, I don't really get to play with her because I have to do homework and such.  I know I can't quit school, but I feel very upset because I am missing out on time with her that I will never get back.  I just want school to be done with so I can be with her every day and do fun things with her, like mommy and me yoga or something like that.

Well, now I have to go write a stupid paper.

Goodnight.

in between unpacking

In between unpacking I found these pics on another mother's journal and couldn't help sharing.

back to unpacking I go!

finally moved in

Well, we are finally moved in.  We're not unpacked, but we are moved in, which is good.  It was very exhausting, but I bought the new Playtex Hip Sling, and boy is it great.  It positions my baby just right so she can feed while I walk around and unpack and such, since it gives me a free hand (two free hands if you can handle it right).  Brooke was all excited about the move, it took a while before I could get her to bed.  Unfortunatley, the furnace broke and we ended up with no heat for the night!  But it turned out ok, because we tucked Brooke in with us for the night and stayed pretty warm.

I have so much homework to do and so much work to do with unpacking and stuff.  It doesn't help to reminisce about what my life was like before I had the baby.  But I am def happier now, and I do love my life.  But I hate to see pics of myself when I was skinnier, for it just reminds me that my wedding date is getting closer and I need to lose more weight for the wedding.  But I'm doing good, I've gone from a size 13 to a size 8.  Tomorrow I am going to look for a new gym to join, yay :o/.

Someone told me today that my boobs were going to get saggy because I breastfeed Brooke. I just said, my boobs are going to get saggy anyway, at least this way I have another excuse besides old age. It's going to happen to everyone, but I'm letting mine go out with a bang! That made me feel good about myself because extra weight and stretch marks and all, my body is amazing because it created and carried my angel for nine months and now it is the sole source of her nourishment and health.  I feel so proud when I see how healthy she is, it reminds me that my body is my honor.

Well, that's all the rambling that I am doing tonight. Bed time.

packing day

Well today we spent the whole day packing.  My FIL came over at one point to bring us boxes and play with Brooke.  He's so good with her and is so happy playing with her!

Packing all day was really exhausting, but Brooke was so good about it!  She took long naps today and was really good at entertaining herself so that we could get some work done.  She's so cute!

I found this really cool website called breastfeeding.com....it had a lot of funny stories on it about breastfeeding and a lot of other sources for nursing moms. Def a website to check out if you are nursing!

Well gotta go pump, then bed time.

Problems with milk supply

Well today I had to stay home from class because I didn't pump enough over the weekend to leave for the sitter.  This was b/c we are so busy packing and trying to get the new house ready to move into.

What frustrated me was when certain people heard that I was having this problem, which really isn't a problem cause it could be resolved in one day, they pressured me to give her formula instead.  I don't think they realized why I was so upset, because to them it was no big deal.  They formula fed their kids.  What they don't understand is that it IS a big deal, and giving her formula is the absolute last possible thing I would do.  I just get frustrated on how ignorant people are, and they look at me like I'm crazy.  Well, excuse me for being so passionate about giving my daughter the best food she can get, and avoiding all the risks associated with formula feeding.

What really upsets me is when new mothers won't even try to breastfeed.  I had one pregnant friend tell me she didn't want to breastfeed cause it would make her boobs saggy. HELLO, your boobs are going to get saggy either way! Your a mother, it is not about you anymore! If a women tries hard to breastfeed and cannot due to circumstances beyond her control, that is one thing.  But to not breastfeed out of sheer selfishness and ignorance really ticks me off.  And to tell a nursing mother that what she is doing is not necessary or isn't making a difference is just plain stupid and cruel.

On a good note, I got to spend the whole day with my angel.  We practiced sitting up and I finally, finally, got her to laugh for me! And I took the cutest pics!

Well it's late and I'm done venting, so I guess I will go to bed.

 

Why I chose to breastfeed.

When I got pregnant, I naturally assumed I would breastfeed because I had heard how good it was and that it was also less expensive, and we were on a tight budget.  But it wasn't until I read a book put out by the La Leche League that I realized how truly beneficial and beutiful nursing is.  Brooke has grown beutifully, as supported on my milk, which makes me really proud.  I think that every woman should breastfeed, or at least attempt to.