Sunday, August 14, 2005
By Mark Saal
Life at the Top
msaal@standard.net
Depending upon whom you believe, August is either "Breastfeeding Awareness Month," "Breastfeeding Promotion Month," "Breastfeeding Success Month," "World Breastfeeding Month" or "Saint Suckle's Eve."
OK, so we just made up that last one.
But all of the rest are bona fide designations, used in actual various national publications recently. But whatever you call it, one thing is clear: The month of August has been set aside to celebrate that most basic of human liberties -- a woman's right to free expression.
Of breast milk.
Leading the charge are angry groups of lactating activists, who've cleverly christened themselves "lactivists." One particularly organized group of these lactivists even has its own Web site, www.lactivists.org. It's a site that they claim is dedicated to "those who are uncomfortable with public breastfeeding."
And how do these draped crusaders attempt to educate the more squeamish portions of the population? By exposing virtual visitors to a collage of closeup photographs featuring babies "tapping the keg," so to speak. And, by spouting catchy slogans like "A baby's right to eat" and "Don't be embarrassed by a baby at a breast."
Which are catchy and all ... we suppose ... although, truthfully, they're not nearly as flashy as something like "When breasts are outlawed, only outlaws will have breasts." Now THAT'S a slogan.
Still, the lactivist is somewhat akin to a modern-day Moses, crying in a wilderness of puritanical thought, boldly declaring to the pharaoh of uptight boobaphobes: "Set my hooters free."
And free they've gone.
Lately, we've been hearing of more and more instances where nursing women feed their babies right out in public, despite the protestations of the lactose-intolerant. Like it or not, these militant mommies have the law on their side. Utah is a right-to-suckle state, and the law says a woman may breast-feed in any public place she deems fit -- and it doesn't even matter whether the Enterprise's deflector shields are up or down, if you catch our drift.
Why, just last month, an Evanston, Wyo., woman was asked to cease and desist from breast-feeding her baby at an Ogden store. According to news reports, she was confronted after attempting to breast-feed her baby in The Quilted Bear, a craft store known for its cutesy merchandise like tole-painted "God couldn't be everywhere, so he created mothers" signs.
But apparently, while God can't be everywhere, neither can mothers. At least, they can't be in The Quilted Bear when they're carrying out this particular duty of motherhood.
The real irony here is that the craft store sits right next to the place where the unmentionables routinely get mentioned, Victoria's Secret. And whatever that "secret" is, this particular business doesn't seem to be doing a very good job of keeping it. Storefront windows are plastered with ceiling-to-floor posters of supermodels wearing just enough spandex material in which to wrap a grape or some other produce item.
In fact, we'll wager that had this Evanston mommy moved the offending baby/breast combo just one storefront to starboard, she could have lit herself on fire and no one would have even known she was there.
Sadly, neither side seems willing to compromise. If only the lactivists were a bit more discreet and sensitive to the fact that many folks are uncomfortable with such exposure. And if only the Breast Nazis were a little less uptight.
The latter group's argument seems to be that the female breast is inherently sexual; therefore, any glimpse of it is somehow "naughty." Oh, really? Picture this:
You're watching one of those "Girls Gone Wild" videos -- not that we've ever done this, mind you; this is strictly for purposes of illustration -- and when a woman raises her shirt to flash the camera, there's a little nipper attached.
Whoa! Still think its sexual?
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